Well blow me down and call me Cupcake. What’s the odds of something I’ve been wearing every day for decades being the wrong size? As it turns out, pretty high, eight out of ten women are wearing ill-fitting bras. Today, I found out I was one of them.
Bra buying is a minefield, there’s so much choice involving wire, stretchy lace and memory foam. There’s balcony, plunge, deep plunge, tee-shirt, halter-neck and strapless and that’s before we start talking about sizes. Cups work through the alphabet, I thought they stopped at C. Nope, they go to L, may be LL, all I can say is, bloody hell. Sometimes it’s just easiest to grab and go, hoping for the best, fiddling with the fastening, settling the straps with a safety pin, maybe adding a couple of cotton wool balls to fill any voids in the memory foam.
I had to buy replacements for the white bra I’d washed with a red scarf. How come the colour never covers uniformly? How come my bra looks like raspberry ripple ice cream? Anyway, that’s in the bin now, along with the memory foam bra that seems to have forgotten what it was there for. Evidently a bra should never have a birthday, well, mine were born in the leap year.
So today was the day, it was either that or I just had to wear my sports bras, which really is not an option for more than a couple of hours at a time, that elastic really is powerful.
A very helpful young lady sporting a scary tape measure with metal eyelets advised me to relax, it wasn’t going to hurt. I closed my eyes, I didn’t want to see the numbers, especially if they were in centimetres, they always look scarily big. As it turned out the numbers were smaller – hoorah! – but the cup size was bigger. Much bigger. I was shocked. Horrified, even, it meant I was qualified to gain entry to Bravissimo, a shop I’ve never entered before, because I thought it was for Big Women, not me, I’m a Medium Woman. Again, another boobie fact, 40 per cent of UK women are D cup and above.
So I’ve entered a new world where I’m in a minority who wear properly-fitted bras and I need never have saggy straps again. It actually feels quite good!