It was only a dream

Antique of the future?
Antique of the future?

In my little dream, it’s 2049. We’ve just completed our 50th ultra marathon that year – hey, I said it was a dream – and are packing for a trip to what’s left of the Arctic Circle for a marathon that has to be done in laps, hopping from ice floe to ice floe, we get extra points for not falling in. So it’s time for a little light entertainment before setting off to the newly-completed Leeds/Bradford/Wakefield Airport.

We swipe the little silicon studs implanted on the back of our hands. These connect to the desire sensors picking up the entertainment channels fed into our brains through the non-invasive and reasonably-priced Virgin Sky Worldwide Media Inc Platinum Package for Pre-Pensioners. We’re looking forward to retirement. Not long now.

The Platinum Package projects images into our minds’ eye, it’s our favourite programme, Antiques Roadshow. I’m looking forward to my virtual appearance with the German clock I bought at a bric-a-brac sale for three of our old pounds (5000 New PoundEuros) in the village where we have lived for 50 years. It’s incredible that Fiona Bruce is still the presenter, I suspect some electronic jiggery pokery and voice enhancement, but she seems sound as she introduces me to the clock expert.

Yes, the clock is a witty little skit on the passing of time, with a touch of 20th century cold war commentary. The expert watches the little pendulum tick away. The wooden figure leans against the post supporting what can only be described as a magnificent example of its genre, now known as Comic Tat.Very collectible, especially on the Moon where the colonists are having fun with gravity, the pendulum movement will be a hoot.

Then the Million PoundEuro question, how much is it worth? Of course I make all those noises about never selling it, sentimental value and all that, so am delighted to hear it is worth two million EuroPounds. Enough for a month’s shopping at TescoSainsbury or a year at Lidl. Result.

I wake up to see Noel staring at my purchase. £3? he asks, poking the cheap metal pendulum, ‘They saw you coming’. Well, I like it. So there.

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