Phone floatation device saves soggy calls

Dropping the phone down the toilet the first time was unfortunate. It was just one of those things that can happen to anyone who puts their mobile in their back pocket and forgets it’s there. But twice? The same back pocket? This was more like a trend.

Of course the good thing about trends is the learning gained from doing it in the first place. So I knew not to try turn it on and to whip out the battery. I knew to whisk it on to a bed of rice and pop it somewhere nice and warm for a couple of days to encourage the whole drying-out process. If only I’d remembered to take the SIM card out, it just wasn’t the same, all the ringtones warbled and then the screen looked like a flat lava lamp.

Ah well I’ll know next time. Next time? There will be no next time because thanks to the wonderful academic environment at the University of Bradford, some of the inventive cleverness has rubbed off and I am on the point of patenting an Anti Plop Phone Protector™ for my new smartphone. As with all works of genius, it’s simple. Inspired by the many aircraft safety demonstrations I’ve seen from my cramped seat in economy class, I’ve adapted the flotation device principles for the phone.

This phone won't sink

It’s still in the testing stage. I’ve not yet figured out how to fit it in my pocket, though the up-side of that is if it’s not in my pocket, it won’t fall out into the toilet. And it does keep floating away in an Up Up and Away fashion, so I have to keep it on a length of string. But these are just snagging issues, the inventive process has started, there’s no stopping it.

Now all I have to do is to work out how to use the damned phone. Smartphone? It’s not that smart if the keypad won’t unlock.


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