You’ve got to love those boffins at sportswear manufacturers Nike. Ever mindful of the chesty challenges faced by female sportswomen they’ve carried out serious scientific research and concluded our breasts move in a figure of eight when we exercise.
That begs a question, doesn’t it? Just exactly HOW did they come to that conclusion? Where did they put the sensors? Were tassels involved? How did they stay in place (either the sensors or the tassels)? Was the figure of eight horizontal or vertical? Together or opposing? Does it start at one and go through every number to eight? I think four could be the most uncomfortable, but that’s just me.
Anyway, good on you, Nike guys. This no doubt difficult and challenging research (you must have hated every minute) has produced the Nike Revolutionary Support Bra which has, according to the review, ten settings for the shoulder straps and five for the chest straps which act like the vertical and horizontal holds on the old TVs. They’re made in special anti-bounce, anti-sweat material.
I checked one out, it’s like an armless straight jacket in coal black, a fine contrast to my milk white skin, permanently slathered with factor 50 sunscreen when exposed to sunlight. I looked like a humbug, but once I moved, there wasn’t a figure of eight in tight. In fact everything stayed exactly where it was. Quite eerie really.
Hoorah for the boffins. Now, how about making the bras in red and orange stripes?
And no, there’s no photo. But what about this – have I grown the largest foxglove in the world or what?