Soothing music may be one way to beat motorway stress and road rage, but I have found another which not only banishes stress, it's edible, healthy, sustainable and smells good. I have already patented it in anticipation of the rush that will follow, my news release is written ready for syndication and I've had my hair done and eyebrows plucked for the TV interviews – I just hope the camera gets my best angle, I have a great face for radio.
Here is it, now I may have to take on the might of the Disney corporation, but I think they may go with it. Herbie-aceous, or Herbie for short. It's a car, a car with its own internal herb garden, herbs planted in little troughs of soil in the side pockets, pots in the cupholders, a Gro-bag in the back if it's an estate car. Easy to water with a small diversion from the wiper reservoir, or with a cabriolet, just open the roof. Cut and come-again-lettuce to nibble on during those long queues through the M1 roadworks, Tomato plants in vans, the miniature variety of course, no room for trellis, that would be silly.
My inspiration came as I transported a pot of basil, another of my market gardening products to a friend. As with all my successes, it was more by luck than any green-fingered prowess. The basil plant, another success from a supermarket 50p job, has just go bigger and bigger, so I lopped off the tops, stuck them in some water and forgot about them. It wasn't until I heard a loud crack as the newly-grown roots forced their way out and across the kitchen, tapped me on the shoulder and yelled 'plant me!' that I remembered – and stuck them in soil. They became the first of many – the house is like a basil farm, next to the tomato plants and home-grown rosemary-infused olive oil I could be on my way to supplying all of Leeds' Italian restaurants.
The car smelled divine – and even the half hour or so I spent stationary in the roadworks didn't stress me. The friend I gave it said she too was thrilled with how her car smelled.
I'm definitely on to something.