- Some b@st@rd broke into my car
It was a hotel we'd all met at before. Quite posh, with the usual warnings about not leaving valuables in the car. A warning I didn't ignore. You'd have thought a car would be safe for four hours in broad daylight. You'd have thought. So I had a double take when I returned. Mmmmm, I thought. Don't remember the lock being missing when I got in this morniing. Nope, it was definitely there earlier. I would have remembered a hole in the door.
It wasn't as if there was anything worth stealing. A box of bureaucratic papers (they're welcome to them – may they die slowly of boredom) and a bluetooth with my own brand of earwax. They took nothing. Except the lock. The poor guy behind me wasn't so lucky, they smashed his rear window.
2. The courtesy car is a roller skate
I don't really do cars, but I like to be comfy. It may be new, but a 1.2l bog standard Corsa which does 0-60 in two minutes is not the best vehicle for my 160-mile-round trip to the Midlands. The non-existent suspension nearly shook my fillings out. And it smells. Come back VW Passat!
3. I lost my phone
Well, I thought I'd lost it. Turned out I'd left it in the car, but the rush across the campus in a mad panic meant I couldn't have another coffee. And I NEEDED that caffeine
And….. to put the tin hat on it………
4. My pants are yellow.
White pants and yellow dusters in the washer equals – yellow pants. Dammit I'm grumpy.
Now. Where's that other packet of fig rolls….?
Today's lovely thing
One packet of fig rolls in five minutes. <burp>