Farewell Ken, old friend

Ken and I go back a long way. I reckon it must be at least 25 years.

He’s always been there for me. Of course there was the regular beating and occasional whipping, but that was all in the name of entertainment. Together we made quite a team.

Noel welcomed him into the home and everything went well. Until this weekend.

I blame myself. I just asked too much of him. Whether it was age, or strain, or the prospect of another 3kg Christmas cake, Ken gave up the ghost. There was a bang, acrid smoke – and the threat of flames. Noel did the kindest thing he could – he put him outside, where he’s stayed until we can take him to his last resting place. The tip. Well, you can’t put electrical things into Leeds black bins.

 Here’s to you, Ken Wood Chef. There’ll never be another mixer like you. Not until I get my shiny new Kitchen Aid, that is……….

It’s actually been a bad week for what I’ll term grudge purchases. Following Ken’s demise, the hormonal boiler threw a wobbler from which it won’t recover. It’s old and has hiccupped before. A steady stream of plumbers has fought their way into the airing cupboard to re-ignite the pilot light, every time saying this would be the last and the old boiler had boiled its last drop.

Now, if we want hot water, we have to set the tap running, dash upstairs, move the little white lever from right to left, and wait for the heat. Good for the old heart, but a little wearing. The central heating still works – but we’ve not had frost yet, so that’ll be the time for it to take its bat home too. Then we’ll be huddled around the stove for warmth.

And of course these things come in threes. Our cocky VW, which bings, bongs, chimes and yells over such trifles as needing a service, low fuel, no fuel, temperature below 4C, temperature above 35C, music too loud, poor lane discipline and, most heinous of all, nose-picking (how DOES it know?) Anyway, en route from York, past midnight it yelled that the fuel emissions were, well, emitting. And we’d have to stop immediately, if not before, and go straight to a VW garage where we’d be charged a very large amount of money to shut it up. And do something about the emissions.

So  it’s going to be an expensive week.

Damn!

Today’s lovely thing

Getting back on the bike again. It’s been too long. Ouch……  

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