Can’t you just a press a button?

Microsoft is definitely a dirty word in our house. We use Firefox and Thunderbird and it all works on something called Linux. Whatever that is. Internet Explorer is only used in cases of dire emergency – or when Noel is testing out some programming thingummy.

With my new elevated status to student-cum-consultant we thought it best to update our website, Well, for update, read completely overhaul.

"You just find a couple of websites you like and I'll adapt their stylesheets," said Noel

Right-ho. I found them and, with my non-techie big picture approach, thought the words I'd written would magically appear on some kind of facsimile of the page. Just like that. Well, you can do it in Powerpoint.

I glanced at both Noel's screens – not for him a little laptop with tiny flip-up screen. These are bigger than our telly and, come to think of it, far more interesting – most of the time. And what was on them? Our new website? No. Lots of letters, numbers, brackets, commas and different-colour typefaces.

"What the…?" I asked
"That's programming language, that is….. see how, if I change the ems on line 44, the padding expands…"
"Oh, sorry, I had a little microsleep there"
"And if I just add this line……"
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

I just let him get on with it – I was in danger of having it all explained to me again  -  and then repeating phrases like 'dynamic website' in casual conversation and being mistaken for a techie.

I was awoken from my daydreams of knitting and kittens by loud exclamations questioning the parentage of Bill Gates. It seems there's bugs and creepy crawlies all over Internet Explorer and our wonderful new website contorts when it leaves the safety of Firefox.

"But can't you just press a button and it works?" I asked, knowing I'd regret it.
"Oh!! You're such a … such a ….such a USER!!" It is Noel's worst possible insult.

So the website continues to be work in progress. But when it's done, it'll be the result of elegant programming, Noel told me to say.

Today's lovely thing
Getting a new job

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