The new recruit arrived, fresh with his Degree in Creative Stuff and Certificate in Egotism from the University of Wetbehindtheears.
His first task, at Plastic Boxes R Us Ltd was not quite what he had in mind. After all, he had been top of his class in the closeted academic environment. His classroom campaigns had reached – dozens. Now it was the real world. His first proper job where they had tea breaks and salaries and other people who weren't students.
Sitting with his new colleagues, many of them old wags who's seen it all before, whatever it was, he was handed the new top-of-the-range seal n'save box. Keeps everything fresh. It's the seal, you know.
So, how could he best express the fabulous benefits of this fantastic seal? How could the busy shopper be attracted to this box over all others? How could he make his mark in the world of plastic boxes?
Here's how the conversation went:
Recruit (opening and closing the box) I have it! We'll spell out the satisfying noise it makes when you open it!
Old Wag 1 What, k.l.i.c.k?
Old Wag 2 More like thrwerrbbbbb
Old Wag 3 I'd go got fwaaaaaahhhhh
They're interrupted by the ahem release of gas from Old Wag 4, whose partner had fed him Brussels sprouts, beans and anchovies, washed down with four pints of dark stout the previous evening (they'd had a falling out, this was revenge)
Old Wag 4 Pfffff
Recruit – By george, he's got it! I'm off to the patent office straight away!
Old Wag 4 I'm just off…….
The result is there for all to see. The recruit was promoted to coat handers. Old Wag 4 and his partner made amends and never touched sprouts again.
Well, that's how I'd like to think it went!
Today's lovely thing
Skyping sweet nothings!